Navigating grief, embracing its teachings and re-connecting with the heart

Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience that reaches far beyond the loss of a loved one. It can emerge from unmet hopes, sudden life changes, or moments of profound heartache. This emotional journey often touches the heart chakra, our center of compassion and emotional openness, inviting us to explore and heal the wounds within. Understanding grief in all its forms allows us to embrace its lessons and find ways to reconnect with our hearts.

Kawakawa

Understanding grief beyond loss

Grief is often thought of as a response to death, but it can extend much further. It can also arise from:

• Losing a relationship or friendship

• Unfulfilled dreams or goals

• Major life shifts such as moving, career changes, or health challenges and even injuries

Undertones of Grief Throughout Life

Grief is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can linger beneath the surface of our everyday lives. Even when we are not actively mourning, the undertones of previous losses can shape our behaviors, thoughts, and interactions. This subtle presence of grief can resurface unexpectedly, particularly when we face the loss of a loved one.

The Lingering Effects of Grief

Throughout our lives, we may carry the weight of grief from various experiences, whether it be the loss of family members, friends, or even the end of significant relationships. These experiences can create patterns in how we process emotions and respond to new challenges. The undertones of grief can manifest in several ways:

• Emotional Triggers: Certain situations or reminders can evoke strong feelings of sadness or nostalgia, often linked to past losses.

• Behavioral Changes: some may withdraw from social interactions or exhibit changes in their daily routines as a way to cope with unresolved grief. building walls around the heart as a form of protection. restricting experiences that might lead to heart ache.

• Heightened Sensitivity: The experience of grief can make individuals more sensitive to the emotions of others, leading to empathy or compassion but also to overwhelm.

Swift Currents of Grief

When we lose a loved one, the patterns of grief we have developed can create swift currents in our behavior. These currents can lead to:

• Intensified Reactions: The loss may trigger a cascade of emotions that feel more intense than those experienced during previous grief.

• Displacement of Emotions: Unresolved grief can lead to misplaced anger or sadness, affecting relationships and personal well-being.

• Cycles of Grief: Previous losses may resurface during new periods of mourning, making it challenging to differentiate between past and present grief.

Understanding the undertones of grief and recognising how they influence our behavior can be crucial in navigating our emotional landscape. By acknowledging these patterns, we can work towards healing and finding diverse ways to cope with loss as it arises throughout our lives.

These experiences can stir feelings of sadness, anxiety, and heartache. Grief has many tentacles that reach into the body, or tinana, sometimes causing other imbalances like anxiety, restlessness or loss of direction. Recognising grief in its many forms helps us approach it with compassion rather than resistance.

The heart chakra and emotional openness

The heart chakra, located in the centre of the chest, governs our ability to give and receive love, compassion, and emotional connection. When grief impacts this energy centre, it can feel like a heavy weight or a closed-off space inside. Healing the heart chakra involves opening ourselves to vulnerability and allowing emotions to flow freely. It means being open to receive, give and experience love.

Using kawakawa to mend the heart

Kawakawa is a powerful healer of body, spirit and heart. Its heart shaped leaves symbolises the heart, compassion, emotional healing, protection and connection to both the physical and spiritual realms.

There is a pūrākau ( traditional story) that speaks to kawakawa being gifted to papatūānuku (earth mother) from Tāne mahuta (atua of the ngahere)after the separation between Papa and Ranginui (sky father). Papa was grieving deeply for the loss of her beloved and also for her many tamariki. Seeing her sorrow, Tāne Mahuta created kawakawa as a sacred healing plant to soothe and mend her broken heart. its leaves were shaped like hearts to symbolise Aroha, compassion, and emotional healing. the holes in its leaves not only symbolise its potency but they also represent the wounds, pain and experiences that we might carry throughout life- showing that healing doesn't always resemble perfection. Kawakawa is said to be of the 12th dimension and a direct connection to IO Matua (our source) - because of this connection to grief, remembrance and to "source" kawakawa is closely associated with mourning rituals, tangihanga, healing and spirituality.

Embracing grief through somatic movements

Grief often gets stuck in the body, manifesting as tension, tightness, anxiety or restlessness. Somatic movements help release these physical blocks and reconnect us with our emotional experience. Here are some gentle practices to try:

• Heart-opening stretches: Stand or sit tall, interlace your fingers behind your back, and gently lift your chest while drawing your shoulder blades together. Hold for a few breaths to expand the heart space.

• Breath awareness: Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Breathe deeply into your chest, feeling it rise and fall. This anchors you in the present and soothes anxiety.

• Grounding movements: Slowly sway side to side or rock gently while focusing on the sensations in your feet and legs. This helps release tension and brings calm. This might also take shape as a regular form of exercise- running, walking bare foot or yoga.

  
  

These movements invite the body to participate in grief, to move it and to integrate it, try to use some of the below affirmations to support the physical movements

Affirmations to support heart healing

Words have power. Repeating affirmations can help shift the energy around grief and open the heart chakra.

• I allow myself to feel and release my grief with compassion.

• My heart is open to healing and to love.

• I am safe to experience my emotions fully.

• Grief is a teacher, and I am learning its lessons.

• I nurture my heart with kindness and patience.

  
  

Using these affirmations during meditation, journaling, or moments of quiet reflection can help with mindful connection.

Embracing the wisdom of kawakawa

Holistic practices to support grief processing

In addition to somatic movements and herbal support, several holistic practices can aid in navigating grief:

• Mindfulness meditation: Observing thoughts and feelings without judgement helps create space for grief to be present without overwhelm.

• Creative expression: Painting, writing, or music can provide an outlet for emotions that are hard to put into words.

• Nature connection: Spending time outdoors, especially in green spaces, supports emotional balance and renewal.

• Energy healing: Practices like Reiki, traditional body work, or acupuncture can help clear blockages in the heart chakra and throughout the body to promote emotional flow.

• Community support: Sharing grief with trusted friends, support groups, or lead providers can help with validation and connection.

  
  

Each person’s journey is unique. Exploring different approaches allows you to find what resonates and supports your healing.

Learning from grief’s teachings

Grief asks us to slow down and face difficult emotions. It invites awareness of the moments that caused pain and heartache, even when those memories are uncomfortable. Sitting with grief, as one might with anxiety or distress, reveals its roots and the lessons it holds.

For example, leaning into anxiety one day might bring a memory of loss into focus. This awareness is a chance to understand how grief has shaped emotional patterns and to gently transform them. Embracing grief’s teachings means allowing space for growth, compassion, and renewed connection with the heart. Its not about dismissing, rushing or forgetting about the "grief" but instead learning how to integrate its many facets.

Grief touches every part of us, from the heart chakra to the whole body,mind and spirit. By recognising its many forms and learning to access different modalities like herbal remedies, somatic movement, affirmations, and many other holistic practices, we can navigate grief with openness, compassion and care. This process can lead us to deeper self-awareness, resilience and a compassionate heart. These times often have us wanting to run, hide and push down the pain, but if we choose to be present and lean in, these moments in life often become our greatest teachers, they have the power to change life's direction so swiftly that it often does take time for us to catch up and integrate these experiences so remember there is no time limit on our processing.

Be gentle and kind to yourself, and speak compassion and love back to oneself when healing this space. Feel what demands to be felt, and allow yourself grace when needed.

Ngā Mihi

Jade